your tfm map sucks.

Apr 28

@1927868 by Hollyleaff  Since this map is protected and therefore not categorized, I’m not sure what to make of it. However, seeing as there are really no gameplay elements (you get to ride around in a moving piece of ice and climb a slightly slanted piece of chocolate, congratulations), I’m going to assume it’s an art map. Even for TFM’s low standards for “art”, though, this map stands out for being particularly bad. Just what the hell is going on here? Why are the mice passing through the piece of stone on the ground? Why is the cat passing through the piece of stone on the ground? Even a three year old who doesn’t understand perspective can tell you a cat standing on a piece of floating rock with all four feet off the ground doesn’t make very much sense. Additionally, what is going on in the background— why is there no background? Why does the vaguely blue background suddenly turn into a shit-colored rectangle? There are just too many unanswered questions to let this map go. Most importantly, who exactly thought this piece of garbage, insulting to believers in physics and common sense everywhere, was worth putting into protected status?

@1927868 by Hollyleaff 

Since this map is protected and therefore not categorized, I’m not sure what to make of it. However, seeing as there are really no gameplay elements (you get to ride around in a moving piece of ice and climb a slightly slanted piece of chocolate, congratulations), I’m going to assume it’s an art map. Even for TFM’s low standards for “art”, though, this map stands out for being particularly bad. Just what the hell is going on here? Why are the mice passing through the piece of stone on the ground? Why is the cat passing through the piece of stone on the ground? Even a three year old who doesn’t understand perspective can tell you a cat standing on a piece of floating rock with all four feet off the ground doesn’t make very much sense. Additionally, what is going on in the background— why is there no background? Why does the vaguely blue background suddenly turn into a shit-colored rectangle? There are just too many unanswered questions to let this map go. Most importantly, who exactly thought this piece of garbage, insulting to believers in physics and common sense everywhere, was worth putting into protected status?

Apr 20

@470160 by Darthrat There is literally only one thing that this map tests: the ability of the shaman to build a long bridge without screwing up royally. It’s not a difficult concept, as anyone that can connect a B plank to a C plank can easily build a perfectly stable bridge for miles if given enough time. Back in the days before hardmode, anyone who cannot complete this kind of map would be laughed at for being a noob. Now, anyone that cannot complete this map, when in hardmode, will undoubtedly blame some kind of lag, be laughed at for being a noob anyway, and then be told something along the lines of “l2stabalize or gb2noobmode.” I heartily concur with these angry cries. The thing about too many maps nowadays is that they rely on the hardmode shaman’s incompetence to add any substance to an otherwise meritless map. Too many maps are easily completed without much thought with B planks, but provide a challenge to hardmode shams that never learned how to effectively use balloons and invisible planks/boxes to stabilize builds, which, unfortunately, is the majority of shams. Here’s a new concept for the mapmakers, though: how about, instead of relying on shitty players to make the game more difficult, you put some actual effort into making your maps and make them enjoyable for many different kinds of mice? How about, holy mother of Christ, you make a map that doesn’t heavily feature stability as a hurdle? How about you stop making the exact same stability benchmark map every single time?

@470160 by Darthrat

There is literally only one thing that this map tests: the ability of the shaman to build a long bridge without screwing up royally. It’s not a difficult concept, as anyone that can connect a B plank to a C plank can easily build a perfectly stable bridge for miles if given enough time. Back in the days before hardmode, anyone who cannot complete this kind of map would be laughed at for being a noob. Now, anyone that cannot complete this map, when in hardmode, will undoubtedly blame some kind of lag, be laughed at for being a noob anyway, and then be told something along the lines of “l2stabalize or gb2noobmode.” I heartily concur with these angry cries.

The thing about too many maps nowadays is that they rely on the hardmode shaman’s incompetence to add any substance to an otherwise meritless map. Too many maps are easily completed without much thought with B planks, but provide a challenge to hardmode shams that never learned how to effectively use balloons and invisible planks/boxes to stabilize builds, which, unfortunately, is the majority of shams. Here’s a new concept for the mapmakers, though: how about, instead of relying on shitty players to make the game more difficult, you put some actual effort into making your maps and make them enjoyable for many different kinds of mice? How about, holy mother of Christ, you make a map that doesn’t heavily feature stability as a hurdle? How about you stop making the exact same stability benchmark map every single time?

I’m not feeling as eloquent as usual, so I’m going to take a low blow and go for an art map. @1381767   by Stigorax Art maps, when they were a refreshing underground thing back in the day, were usually terrible. This has not changed. Actually, now that art maps have become a permanent thing, with the introduction of art maps into regular rotation and the circles and rectangles in map editor, the epidemic has gotten much worse. Here’s what I don’t like about art maps: There is a hole, and there is a cheese. The placement of the two have nothing to do with each other. There is some cartoon or anime character off to the side, which has nothing to do with the cheese or the hole or any other part of the map. In less terrible art maps, sometimes there is a general theme to the map, or the mice can get the cheese and go back to the hole without the shaman’s help by being very careful, or the shaman must interact with the map in some clever way to help the mice get to the cheese, but the map displayed here has none of these redeeming traits. In fact, it’s just a mediocre map, where the shaman must gather his wits to accomplish the groundbreaking act of connecting two planks to each other, while a poorly drawn and wholly unrelated Snoopy stands to the side, gleefully leering at the unfortunate mice doomed to waste another two minutes of their lives to its sheer incompetency.

I’m not feeling as eloquent as usual, so I’m going to take a low blow and go for an art map.

@1381767   by Stigorax

Art maps, when they were a refreshing underground thing back in the day, were usually terrible. This has not changed.

Actually, now that art maps have become a permanent thing, with the introduction of art maps into regular rotation and the circles and rectangles in map editor, the epidemic has gotten much worse. Here’s what I don’t like about art maps: There is a hole, and there is a cheese. The placement of the two have nothing to do with each other. There is some cartoon or anime character off to the side, which has nothing to do with the cheese or the hole or any other part of the map. In less terrible art maps, sometimes there is a general theme to the map, or the mice can get the cheese and go back to the hole without the shaman’s help by being very careful, or the shaman must interact with the map in some clever way to help the mice get to the cheese, but the map displayed here has none of these redeeming traits. In fact, it’s just a mediocre map, where the shaman must gather his wits to accomplish the groundbreaking act of connecting two planks to each other, while a poorly drawn and wholly unrelated Snoopy stands to the side, gleefully leering at the unfortunate mice doomed to waste another two minutes of their lives to its sheer incompetency.

@1474189   by Angi Let me just say this as blatantly as possible: I hate ice. I hate ice maps. I hate ice maps with a kind of burning passion that would melt the ice to trickles of sad-looking uninspired mapmaking badness if it could manifest in pixel form, and this map right here embodies everything I hate about ice. It’s an neat trick: if you make an otherwise terrible, boring, map that would be easily solved in about 3 planks and a box, you can easily upgrade your map to P8 by replacing some normal ground with ice! Isn’t it great? Granted, even with the silly ice, your map will probably still take about 3 planks and a box to complete, and frankly is just as terrible as it was before, but as soon as that ice comes into the picture you’re guaranteed an instant perm! Neat, isn’t it?

@1474189   by Angi

Let me just say this as blatantly as possible: I hate ice. I hate ice maps. I hate ice maps with a kind of burning passion that would melt the ice to trickles of sad-looking uninspired mapmaking badness if it could manifest in pixel form, and this map right here embodies everything I hate about ice. It’s an neat trick: if you make an otherwise terrible, boring, map that would be easily solved in about 3 planks and a box, you can easily upgrade your map to P8 by replacing some normal ground with ice! Isn’t it great? Granted, even with the silly ice, your map will probably still take about 3 planks and a box to complete, and frankly is just as terrible as it was before, but as soon as that ice comes into the picture you’re guaranteed an instant perm! Neat, isn’t it?

@159903   by Frvr Let’s be honest here, guys. I can take a shit on the map editor and put more effort into making a map. In fact, this has been proven: you know the maps made by noobs, with lava and chocolate all over the place, as if a blind gorilla with no hands tried imitate an impressionist by fitting as many 1x1 pieces of random ground as possible and tiling decorations all over the place? Maps that look like this? Yeah, it took more effort to make that than to make this half-assed piece of garbage. There have been many maps that tried to achieve the ultimate build-a-thon by placing as little ground as possible and putting the cheese and hole far away from the spawn point. It was hardly an original concept then, and it isn’t much better now. Once again, the most difficult thing about this map is not getting a dimwit with half a banana for a brain as a partner who will fuck things up.

@159903   by Frvr

Let’s be honest here, guys. I can take a shit on the map editor and put more effort into making a map. In fact, this has been proven: you know the maps made by noobs, with lava and chocolate all over the place, as if a blind gorilla with no hands tried imitate an impressionist by fitting as many 1x1 pieces of random ground as possible and tiling decorations all over the place? Maps that look like this? Yeah, it took more effort to make that than to make this half-assed piece of garbage. There have been many maps that tried to achieve the ultimate build-a-thon by placing as little ground as possible and putting the cheese and hole far away from the spawn point. It was hardly an original concept then, and it isn’t much better now. Once again, the most difficult thing about this map is not getting a dimwit with half a banana for a brain as a partner who will fuck things up.

let’s start with co-op maps, because those hit close to my heart. @212956   by Epifistu This map is just completely uninspired. How much effort does it take to to build a plank to the cheese, put a little step so mice don’t die, come back down to the ground and build to the hole? For the love of god, the shaman doesn’t even need to build a step under the hole. Even as a single-sham map, and even in hardmode if the shaman isn’t a complete cretin, this map is hardly a challenge. The only thing that occasionally causes problems on this map is if both shams, apparently incapable of basic communication or scraping together an ounce of common sense between them, build at once and invoke the Glitch King. It’s insulting that a map whose only challenge comes from bad coding is made into a coop map and then permed.

let’s start with co-op maps, because those hit close to my heart.

@212956   by Epifistu

This map is just completely uninspired. How much effort does it take to to build a plank to the cheese, put a little step so mice don’t die, come back down to the ground and build to the hole? For the love of god, the shaman doesn’t even need to build a step under the hole. Even as a single-sham map, and even in hardmode if the shaman isn’t a complete cretin, this map is hardly a challenge. The only thing that occasionally causes problems on this map is if both shams, apparently incapable of basic communication or scraping together an ounce of common sense between them, build at once and invoke the Glitch King. It’s insulting that a map whose only challenge comes from bad coding is made into a coop map and then permed.